Clerk, obviously not a speaker of English-as-a-first-language: Welcome to Jack-in-the-Box. May I help you?

Granny: Yes, we'd like a Jr. Burger combo with curly fries and a medium Coke.

Clerk: Would you like fries with that?

Granny: Uh, yes, and a Coke please.

Clerk: What size Coke?

Granny: Uh, that would be medium.

Clerk: Will that be all?

Granny: No, we need a Spicy Chicken Sandwich Combo with curly fries and a medium root beer.

Clerk: Spicy Chicken. What size do you want drink? Medium? Large?

Granny, by now slightly perturbed: Medium, thanks.

Clerk: Any fries with that?

Granny: Yeah sure. How about some curly fries with that.

Clerk: You do want fries? Will that be all?

Granny: No, now we need a bacon cheeseburger combo, with just American cheese, no Swiss, curly fries and a medium Coke.

Clerk: Is this instead of the Jr. Burger?

Granny: No, no...we want the Jr. Burger too.

Clerk: With the fries, right?

Granny: Yes, and we need a medium Coke with the bacon cheeseburger combo.

Clerk: I thought you said root beer?

Granny: One of those, too.

Clerk: One that's not with the combo?

Granny: NO. All of the drinks have been with a combo meal.

Clerk: Okay, go ahead. Anything else?

Granny: Yes, I'd like a fish and chips combo with curly fries and a medium Diet Coke.

Clerk: Are all Cokes Diet?

Granny, getting near the edge here: No ma'am. Just this one.

Clerk: The one with combo meal, right?

Granny, fighting off urge to offer an extra $20 to get someone competent: That's right. There will be four drinks, all of them part of combo meals.

Clerk: Will that be all?

Granny: One egg roll, please.

Clerk: No drink with that?

Granny: No. But make it a medium anyway.

Well...no egg roll. No fish and chips. Fish sandwich instead. And the distinct impression that this is what "full employment" means. No one in San Antonio goes without a job, no matter how unqualified (and unhelpful) they might be.

Sheesh.

Labels: Theater of the Absurd