Dear Valued Sam's Club Member,
Thank you for your recent purchase of a Member's Mark Gas Grill with Oven (#882960). We hope you are enjoying your grill. It has come to the manufacturer's attention that your grill may contain two misspellings located on the tempered glass control panel. The misspellings are NOT a safety hazard but can be misleading.
If your grill is affected, the misspellings would be located at the searing burner and rear burner control knobs. The control knob marking should read "IGNITE/ON" but it regrettably may read "IGNITE/NO."
In conjunction with Sam's Club, the manufacturer has committed to correcting the spelling error. We have included with this letter two weatherproof stickers that can be permanently affixed to the control panel over the misspelled words if you desire. If you feel that the stickers are not an appropriate correction for you, please call the manufacturer, Mean Young Trading Limited, at your earliest convenience and they will schedule a service technician to come to your home and replace your control panel. They can be reached at 1-800-XXX-XXXX or SamsClubService@grillservices.com. If you choose to email them, please provide them with your name, address and telephone number so they can contact you.
We strive for excellence in Member service, and your complete satisfaction with our products is our number one goal. If you have any questions, please call our Sam's Club Call Center at 1-888-XXX-XXXX.
Again, thank you for your patronage, and we apologize for any inconvenience.
Sr. Vice President, Experiential Shopper
And, as promised, on the bottom of the letter are affixed two small stickers that say "IGNITE/ON."
Three points here:
1) Every company, and every department of every company, needs proofreaders.
2) When you outsource your manufacturing, including translation of labels and manuals to Hong Kong, you need more than a proofreader. You need an American. (I know that's not PC, but I'm just sayin'...) A Chinese-speaking proofreader will read "NO" and think that's a perfectly good English word.
3) What else but a hyper-litigious society would require not only this letter, BUT THE OFFER OF A TECHNICIAN TO REPLACE YOUR WHOLE CONTROL PANEL for the misspelling of a TWO-LETTER word? I know, just think of all the tragedies that could occur...
The Papa says that he noticed it the first time he opened the grill, and thought to himself, "Oh, they made a mistake and wrote "no" for "on." End of story.
Only, in today's America, it can't be the end of the story.
Now where was that number...