WASHINGTON — The Obama administration will convene a summit of experts to figure out what to do about the problem of texting while driving, a practice studies and a growing number of accidents show can be deadly.

Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood will announce his decision to gather senior transportation officials, safety advocates, law enforcement representatives, members of Congress and academics who study distracted driving at a news conference Tuesday. The summit will take place next month.

Remember the good ol' days of summits? When the American president and his entourage would go to a remote village in Iceland and meet with the Soviet premier? (Okay, some of you don't, but trust me.) I dunno...maybe there's been some sort of latent longing for the American people to get their hands on the lofty word "summit" by making sure we all get our day in the sun (or the ice, as it were), but the Obama administration is coming to the rescue. Not content just to populate the country with as many Czars as there are business sectors and schools in the U.S., they're now going to give us, or at least "our" bureaucrats a chance to participate in summits of every size and shape, making sure that no area of our lives goes untouched by a thorough and very public airing of our foibles.

This week Secy. of Transportation LaHood calls summit on distracted driving. And while I admit that texting while driving is dangerous, there's a lot in this country that's dangerous and/or irritating and it's absurd to dumb down the whole summit concept so that bored bureaucrats have something to put on their resumes when they get kicked out and we finally get a government of grownups again. (Is that too much to hope for?)

Nevertheless, in light of this window of opportunity, I'd like to propose a few summits and I invite you to add your proposals in the comments.

Summit on grade inflation
Summit on rude supermarket clerks
Summit on Secy.'s of the Treasury who look and sound like Star Trek characters
Summit on children's bedtimes
Summit on dishonest mechanics
Summit on ATM fees (Oh, wait, that one's already happened...)
Summit on the number of intersections with a no-U turn sign
Summit on the banning of peanut butter and peanut products
Summit on the confusing paper bills of cell phone companies
Summit on the banning of selling raw milk (Oh...never mind...)
Summit on landlords who refuse to return deposits
Summit on practices dangerous to your hearing
Summit on the shrinking size of "Large" pizzas
Summit on major appliances that outlast their warranties by 24 hours (will be held here at Granny's House)

Oh my, this is fun and I could go on and on. But I feel that in the interest of my readers I should let YOU come up with some. I might have already taken most of the good ones.

Sheesh.

Labels: Political Observation, Theater of the Absurd